Liberation from world’s judgmental eyes!

I judge, all the time.

I form opinions about everyone around me—sometimes quickly, sometimes over time. I keep judging people as they evolve in their lives and behavior. No matter how many times I explain to myself not to think a certain way, my mind goes into autopilot mode—it judges.

Often, I restrain myself from expressing these judgments. And even when I do share them, it’s only in private, with close family or friends, to ensure it doesn’t affect the person I’m judging.

Does it still impact my behavior toward them?

I presume it does, even though I consciously try not to let it.

Do I get them right? I’m not sure—and truthfully, my mind doesn’t even care to get it right. Even if it gets it wrong, it simply accepts that and moves on… only to make another quick judgment again.

Is it just me who does this? Definitely not. We all do it.

Some people may say, “I’m not judgmental.” But they are—they simply try to minimize the impact of their judgments on others, in both expression and action.

Then there are others who say, “I’m just honest. I speak my mind.” These are people who freely express their judgments without considering how it might affect the other person.

But the irony is—on the other hand—we all want to be known, but only in ways we approve of.

We want to be seen, but only in the light we choose.

So every time we’re out in the world, we painstakingly design the personality we want others to see. We stay conscious of our expressions, carefully choose our words, our clothes, our behavior—everything, to project a version of ourselves that feels acceptable. We spend hours choosing the right photo to post on social media, debating whether to say something or stay silent. We seek validation—hoping people will affirm the version of ourselves we want to believe in.

And here’s the most baffling part:

Despite all our precise efforts to shape our impressions, the way we are perceived can still be wildly different.

When I write, some people respond with compliments—saying it inspires them, encouraging me to write more. Others see it as an unavoidable nuisance to tolerate.

When someone dresses a certain way, some admire their creativity and fashion sense; others see it as a desperate cry for attention.

When someone speaks up about their opinions, some admire their courage to voice them; others see it as arrogance.

One person. Multiple versions of truth in everyone’s mind.

And as human beings, we know this. We know others may perceive us very differently from how we want to be seen. That awareness brings fear.

We fear those versions—because we cannot control them.

And humans crave control.

Because we can’t control what others think when we show up, we spiral. So, we choose not to show up at all.

We turn off our video on Teams calls—it gives us the illusion of not being seen.

We hesitate to speak in gatherings—we don’t want to give people the power to judge or laugh at us.

We hold back from commenting on someone’s post—we don’t want to be judged for how we feel.

We hesitate to share our ambitions with a counselor—for fear of being judged for not having any.

Alas!

What we miss is this: not showing up gives us only a false sense of control.

We are still being judged.

Judged for not having the confidence to be seen or speak.

Judged for not having the intelligence to form an opinion.

Judged for not being serious or ambitious enough about our life or career.

Liberation doesn’t lie in hiding.

Control doesn’t lie in staying silent.

True liberation lies in accepting that we have no control over how others will perceive us.

Instead, what we do have control over is how we see ourselves.

We must keep looking into our own mirror and asking:

What do I think of myself?

Because what others think of you has very little to do with you—it’s more about them.

“We do not see things as they are; we see them as we are.” — Anaïs Nin

This isn’t just a philosophical quote. It’s real—if you observe your own patterns of judgment.

Do my judgments evolve with me?

Yes.

Do I see patterns in what I tend to judge?

Absolutely.

Things I used to criticize in my teenage years, I now admire. And vice versa.

That, in itself, proves the quote: my judgments are a reflection of me, not of the person I’m judging.

So when multiple people start expressing similar opinions about you, pay attention—maybe something in your behavior needs to shift to land right.

You can work on it. But don’t spiral just because some people perceive you a certain way.

Don’t adjust, refine, or contort yourself into someone unreal just to change others’ perceptions.

Liberate yourself from the world’s judgment.

Instead, become a lifelong observer of yourself. Judge yourself honestly and constantly. Ask yourself, Is this who I truly am?

If your thoughts, words, actions, and behavior don’t align—when you look at yourself as a third person—it’s time to recalibrate.

And you’ll be amazed at life’s wonder when you do. Because your story will keep evolving—if you keep showing up.

And at the end of the day, it’s your story.

Told through your eyes.